The Summer of Jake Read online

  I remembered it. She’d said similar things to me often, but I’d hated that she’d said it in front of Kelly. “She was just trying to protect us.”

  It hadn’t worked, though. I’d burned that first collage as she’d instructed, but instead of discarding the dreams, I’d held them closer to my heart than ever. So close, in fact, they’d been partially obscured from the world.

  Not so hidden that my mother was happy with my efforts to forget them. But hidden enough that no one really knew the dreams of my heart. Either then or now. And that had only made them more magnified, more magical. More necessary.

  I looked over at Kelly. She’d never had to keep anything obscured. I wasn’t even sure she could do it—her openness was such an integral part of her personality. I envied her that.

  “I guess she was protecting us in her own way,” Kelly said and shrugged. “I don’t mean to be disrespectful to your mother, but I always thought she expected you to be more of a short adult than a child.”

  She was right, of course, but I didn’t want to say that aloud. Knowing it was one thing, but saying it felt like a betrayal to my mother.

  Eden came around the counter and led us over to the table. “She just has different ideas about what’s best for her daughter. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a hard thing to know what’s in your child’s best interests.”

  I got that—had always got that. But I needed to do what I knew was in my own best interests. And that was to follow my dreams. To make them come true. I had to keep focused on where my heart lay, no matter how many hits it’d taken lately. In fact, especially with the hits my heart had taken—now, more than ever, I needed to achieve my goals.

  Chapter Eight

  Jake

  When Adam and I arrived back with the food, everyone stood around the table with pieces of pizza in napkins. My mother’s house had never been one of formality.

  After claiming a slice, I moved back and saw Adam gently nudge Annalise with his elbow. “Thought enough about that car yet?”

  Her shoulders drooped. “Thought a lot. But if you’re after a decision, then I have nothing to report.”

  Adam nodded as he chewed. “There aren’t a lot of factors to consider, you know. It’s a simple equation.”

  Kelly bumped her husband’s hip with her own. “It’s not that black and white for Annalise. Mindy means so much more to her than a simple equation could ever convey.”

  “Thanks, Kel,” Annalise said, then looked back to Adam. “I promise I’ll make a decision soon.”

  He nodded and turned to back to me to discuss the football scores that had been on the radio while we’d been out.

  Annalise managed to avoid being anywhere near me during the little mingling that happened while we ate, which meant she’d avoided me for the whole visit so far. Although, to be honest, I was avoiding her, too—things were just too awkward now to try to talk to her with all my family watching. I’d try to smooth things over in the car.

  Once we’d crushed the pizza boxes and thrown them in the recycling, I finally made my way over to Annalise. “You ready to go?”

  She looked at me with eyes that seemed to hold a million feelings at once. I guessed the afternoon had been pretty intense for her, from re-connecting with Kelly and Mum to the embarrassment of Kelly telling me about her crush. And now she had to be stuck in a car with me on the trip home.

  She took a deep breath. “I’m ready.”

  “So soon?” Mum asked. She and Kelly walked Annalise to the door, an arm around each side of her waist, and I followed behind with Adam.

  At the threshold, Mum pulled Annalise into a tight hug. “This time you’ll stay in touch?”

  “I promise,” Annalise answered, her voice sounding thick.

  “Me, too,” Kelly said, hugging both of them.

  Annalise let them go to swipe at her eyes, and I had to turn away before I went over there and hugged her myself. Adam thumped me between the shoulder blades, and I returned the gesture.

  “We’ll have to meet up for a surf,” I said, despite knowing he rarely had the spare time these days.

  “Yep, sure,” Adam said as he looped an arm around Kelly.

  After I’d said goodbye to my family, Annalise and I walked out to the Jeep, not speaking and certainly not touching. She waved as I pulled away from the curb, then, even after we’d turned onto the main road, she continued to stare out the window, probably to avoid speaking. God, this was a mess.

  I had to clear my throat before I could get my voice to work. “Annalise, I’m sorry.”

  She turned to look at me. “What for?”

  “For being an idiot at nineteen and not noticing you,” I said, gripping the wheel tightly and watching the road ahead. “For…for lots of things, but mostly for making everything worse with my stupidity after Kelly spilled the beans.”

  She discreetly brushed at her face. “Forget about it, Jake. I have. And don’t worry about me, I got over you years ago. The thing was, you were convenient when I was sixteen, so you were the object of a crush by default. Nothing personal.”

  I still wasn’t sure whether that was true or not—I had a gut feeling her protests were designed to protect herself, but it didn’t matter either way. What mattered was that she was hurting, and I was partly to blame. We arrived at her apartment, and she’d opened the car door almost before we’d stopped.

  She smiled, but I had a hard time believing it was genuine. “If you don’t mind, I’d like a rain check on the wine night. The excitement of seeing Kelly again wore me out.”

  “Sure.” I lifted my hand to reach out to her, but she flinched so I dropped it again. “You know, Annalise, you’ve already helped me a lot, you don’t have to do anything else if you don’t want.”

  I couldn’t bear the thought of her having to spend time with me when she so clearly didn’t want to. If I was right and she did have residual feelings for me, that would only make her want to avoid me more right now.

  “No, that’s okay.” She made another try at the passable smile. “Don’t bother walking me to the door, I’m fine.”

  Even though she was clearly uncomfortable, I wasn’t surprised she wanted to go ahead with the plan. She’d already given me the reason when we’d met at the cafe the day I’d asked for her help.

  “Jake, I’d love to help you, really I would, but I parted ways with my job yesterday, and I need to prioritize. I only have kitty litter to last until next week.”

  At the time, I’d thought she was exaggerating to help get her way in the negotiations, but I’d since realized she’d been telling the truth. She couldn’t afford to get her car fixed. Which meant she really needed the consultant’s fee I was paying her. There was no point offering to pay it out regardless—she wouldn’t accept the offer—but I didn’t want her being uncomfortable, either.

  I opened my mouth to speak but had no idea how to fix things, so I closed it again before eventually saying, “All right. I’ll give you a call to see when we’re both free.”

  First thing on the agenda: I’d have to find a way to make things right.

  …

  Annalise

  Why was Jake able to consistently talk me into things I knew I shouldn’t do? My mind said no, yet here I was, knocking on his front door on a Sunday night.

  Of course, I wasn’t doing this just because Jake asked. I was doing a good deed for Eden, and I would do just about anything to see Eden happy. So, when Jake called earlier and asked if I’d be the fourth person at a dinner to set Eden up with Gerry, I’d agreed, pretending to have forgotten the awkwardness of the previous day for Eden’s sake.

  Jake answered his door wearing an apron over his trademark jeans and T-shirt but still managing to look masculine and sexy, and making me want to rip it all off him.

  “Annalise, I’m glad you came.” He bent to kiss my cheek, and I kissed his cheek back.

  He didn’t seem to notice anything unusual, but my heart rate had gone into overdrive a
t my own boldness. I’d never reciprocated his cheek-kissing before, and that fact had struck me earlier in the day as strange. Not that I’d spent the day thinking about Jake. No. Not at all. Well, maybe a little bit. Just running over the mortifying events of the previous day in my head. Completely normal. And perhaps then a few other thoughts about him, which is when I’d discovered the cheek-kissing imbalance.

  The thing was, if any other man had kissed my cheek, I’d have thought nothing of returning the gesture. With Jake, however, restraint and playing down my responses had become more than a habit—they influenced all my actions when he was in the room.

  And the events outside his mother’s house had been so awful that I desperately wanted him to be Any Other Man to me. So, I’d decided to treat him like Any Other Man when I saw him next.

  Now that I’d done it though, I wished I could take it back. This slip in restraint, this treating him like Any Other Man when he so clearly wasn’t, could start my protective wall crumbling. I’d have to keep an eye on it. No telling the danger if it fell completely.

  Jake led me out onto his patio where food was sizzling on the barbecue and Eden and Gerry were sitting at a wooden table.

  “Annalise, come and sit next to me,” Eden called out when she noticed us. I walked over and gave her a hug and a completely uncomplicated kiss on the cheek. And her jade green peasant blouse and flowing skirt were so casually chic and so perfectly Eden that I relaxed at the familiarity.

  “Annalise, do you know Gerry?” Eden smiled at the man across from her. “Gerry said he remembers you from the beach when you used to watch Jake and Adam compete.”

  My eyes immediately flicked to Jake. Now he knew about my teenage crush, he’d think differently about comments like that. He had his back to us, turning food on the barbecue and didn’t give any indication he’d heard the remark. He was in easy hearing range, and I silently thanked him for his discretion.

  “Um, yes, I do remember you, Gerry. I don’t think we’ve spoken before, though.”

  Gerry stood to offer me his hand. “No, I don’t think we have, but I’m in for a treat tonight if Eden and Jake are to be believed.”

  I looked around warily. “What have they said?”

  Eden put a hand on my arm. “I was just so excited at seeing you twice in two days, I may have gushed a little.”

  “Nonsense,” Gerry smiled over at her. “You and Jake are rightly proud of your lovely friend.”

  The conversation flowed to my designs being made up for Jake’s store, and it was twenty minutes before I had a moment alone with Jake. Gerry and Eden had gone inside to refill everyone’s drinks for dinner, and I moved over to the barbecue.

  “Jake, do they know they’re being set up?”

  Jake continued tossing fried onions. “Not unless they’ve guessed.”

  “Oh.” Why did he have to keep flexing his forearms like that, keeping my attention glued to the play of muscles under his bronzed skin? “Then what did you tell them the barbecue was for?”

  “I didn’t. They’ve probably assumed it was to get their approval of you.”

  “Me?” I screeched. Then I checked to see if Eden and Gerry had heard, but I could see them laughing and talking twenty feet away through the kitchen window. I lowered my voice, just in case. “They think we’re dating?”

  “Probably.” Jake started piling charred corn on the cob onto a tray, quite obviously not seeing a problem.

  “Then why didn’t you tell them we weren’t?”

  “Because it was a convenient way to get them here together.” He looked up with those dark intense eyes of his. “Does it bother you? Would you be embarrassed if you were dating me?”

  Embarrassed? I’d shout it from the rooftops! “No, it’s not the truth, that’s all.”

  “We’ll make it clear once we know whether things work out for them or not, if it’d make you happier.”

  I watched him retrieve the foil-wrapped potatoes from the coals. “You’ll probably be dating Scarlett then and you won’t have to mention it.”

  Jake raised his eyebrows and seemed about to answer when Eden and Gerry arrived back on the patio, still laughing.

  I sat down with Eden and tried not to watch Jake serve the food with those annoyingly perfect arms of his. I took the salad Eden passed and scooped some onto my plate, trying not to watch Jake sitting down on the bench seat, his shirt pulling taut over his broad chest at the movement. I laughed at a joke Gerry made, willing myself not to watch Jake pick up his cutlery in those fingers I’d dreamed of stroking my face. I could see him sitting across from me out of the corner of my eye, but was determined not to watch him.

  Then, almost involuntarily, my eyes drifted over to him and my fork stopped mid-air when I saw he was looking at me. Neither of us moved for a long second when I could’ve sworn the air crackled, before I dragged my gaze away and forced myself to speak to Eden.

  “Eden, tell me what you’ve been doing to your garden. It looked fantastic yesterday.” Thankfully, my voice seemed steady.

  She launched into a passionate description of her plants, and I was even more careful for the rest of the meal not to look at Jake. If I wasn’t careful, he was going to guess my crush was still alive and well.

  …

  Jake

  My main hope for the evening was that it would help Annalise relax around me again. We’d been getting on well until Kelly had told me about the crush. Damn, I wished I didn’t know. At least then Annalise wouldn’t need that guarded expression around me.

  Unfortunately, the evening was drawing to a close, and I was packing the plates in the dishwasher, helped by my mother, while Annalise, as guarded as ever, was outside talking to Gerry.

  “Jake, I was thinking of asking Gerry to take a walk along the beach before we have coffee. What do you think?”

  I looked up hopefully. This would help the matchmaking plan and give me time to smooth things out with Annalise. “I think that’s a great idea.” I put the last plate into the dishwasher and straightened. “We’ve finished here, why don’t you go now?”

  “Eager to get rid of us?” She winked at me.

  “No, it’s just… Go for your walk.”

  She smiled knowingly. “Okay, I’m going.”

  I followed her out and watched as she invited Gerry, and they began to walk down the path to the beach. Then I looked over at Annalise. She was fidgeting with her napkin and studiously avoiding looking at me.

  Here goes nothing, I thought and sat down beside her. “Annalise, I want you to know that I’m sorry Kelly said what she did yesterday.”

  A fleeting grimace passed across her face as she looked up. “It wasn’t your fault.”

  “I know, but I hate the way it’s changed things between us. I’ve really been enjoying spending time with you, and now it’s different.”

  “It is, but there’s nothing we can do about it.” She went to stand, but I touched my fingers to her wrist.

  “I want things to go back to how they were before. It was easier between us, more relaxed.”

  “We can’t go back in time.” Her napkin was beginning to look more like confetti.

  “Why not? I say we just pretend Kelly hasn’t said anything. I can do it, can you?”

  Annalise narrowed her eyes as she looked at me, so I gave her my best encouraging smile.

  “Come on, Annalise, can we give it a try?”

  She didn’t reply for a long moment then appeared to come to a decision. “All right.”

  I stuck out my hand. “Friends?”

  “Friends,” she agreed, tentatively taking my hand.

  Relief rolled over my shoulders, and I let out a breath. I didn’t know why Annalise’s friendship was so important to me, but there was no denying it was. Maybe because I hadn’t made many new friends in the last few years? Or maybe I just liked having her around.

  “Good,” I said. “Now I think we should do something to seal the pact.”

  “Like what?” sh
e asked warily.

  “Something in the spirit of friendship.” I pretended to think, but there was something I’d been wondering about, and hopefully this would relax things between us even more. “Got it. Friends tell each other things, and I’ve been wanting to know something.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “I don’t think I’m going to like this.”

  “The first time you were here, we talked about things Kelly said about me. Remember?”

  “Yes,” she said, drawing the word out like a warning.

  “And there was something you thought of but then you blushed and wouldn’t say any more. I think you should tell me that to seal our new friendship.”

  She shook her head and pointed her index finger at me. “That’s not fair because it involves Kelly, too. And I wouldn’t do anything that’d cause problems between you.”

  Solemnly, I put a hand over my heart, though the effect was probably ruined since I could feel the corners of my mouth twitching with the effort to hold back a grin. “I give you my word there’ll be no repercussions.”

  “Okay,” she said and sucked in a deep breath. “I can’t believe I’m going to tell you—that day I was thinking I’d die of embarrassment if you knew I knew this.”

  “Stop stalling.” I rubbed my hands together, hoping it was something fun, or at least a juicy rumor. “What is it?”

  “Well, Kelly was borrowing some socks from your drawer one day and came across a box of condoms.”

  Before I could hold it back, I was laughing. That was all? “Oh, Annalise, I wouldn’t have cared if I’d known then, and I certainly don’t care now.”

  She started to grin then joined in laughing. It felt good to see her relaxed with me enough to laugh again, and the happiness made me feel light, to laugh even more.

  When I could, I shook my head and asked, “Was that it? Or is there more?”

  “Well, there was something else,” she said, then giggled.

  I tried to keep a straight face. “I think you should tell me that, too.”

  “Okay, you asked for it. One day, Kelly found a pair of your boxers in her laundry and she showed me.” We both dissolved into fits of laughter, and I had trouble drawing breath. I wasn’t even sure why it was so funny, but I couldn’t seem to stop. Finally, as we were calming down, she wiped a tear away and said, “And they were red.” We started laughing again, and I was vaguely aware we were leaning in towards each other.