The Summer of Jake Read online

  I’d never been so close to the edge with no below-the-belt action. I fumbled with his shirt buttons until I could lay my hands on his skin, then followed the planes of his stomach, over the ridges of those abs I’d always wanted to feel, then lower, until I reached the waistband of his jeans.

  “Annalise,” he groaned, moving his mouth to my ear. “The favor, Annalise.”

  “What?” I asked hoarsely.

  “I said you could ask a favor. Now would be a good time.” He ran his tongue along my earlobe. “Ask me anything, Annalise. Tell me what you want me to do.”

  The thought almost made me lose control there on the counter. Anything… What would I ask of Jake if he would do anything I wanted?

  And suddenly I knew. It wasn’t something sexual as he expected, although that would be a close second. It was the forever thing that he didn’t do. And if he changed his mind, it wouldn’t be for me—a woman he was kissing because he was drunk and trying to forget a painful memory. It would be for Scarlett. His trophy.

  And even if he did want me this minute—did I really want to be another notch on his bedpost? Would that make me a trophy, too? The thought was sobering, and I pulled away.

  …

  Jake

  I felt Annalise pull away but didn’t want to let go. I reached for her hand to bring it back around my waist.

  “Jake, I think we should stop.” I stilled, confusion and frustration hitting me in one sharp blow. I arched back to look in her eyes. “In fact,” Annalise continued, “I think you should go. I’ll call you a cab.”

  No, my mind screamed, but I managed to step back, holding on to her hand. “Why, Annalise?”

  She averted her eyes. “Because we’ve both had too much to drink to make clear decisions, as we’ve just proved. This isn’t what either of us wants.”

  The rejection felt like a punch in the gut. “It sure felt to me like both of us wanted it. A lot.”

  “That was the wine. Don’t make this harder than it is, Jake. Please go.”

  I let go of her hand and ran my fingers through my hair, watching as she slid down from the counter and adjusted her top. “Are you sure this is what you want?” I didn’t want to beg, but I needed to check.

  “I’m sure.” Her face was covered by the curtain of glossy hair—hair I’d been running my fingers through only moments before. The silkiest, sexiest hair I’d touched.

  And now I’d gone from dumb to totally stupid, making this harder on myself by dwelling on what had been withdrawn.

  “Don’t worry about the cab. I’ll walk. The air and the exercise will do me good. I’ll come back tomorrow and get my car.” I gave her a searching look, my hands in my pockets. “It’s—”

  She interrupted me. “I think we’ll both be happier tomorrow if you go now.”

  I stepped closer and kissed her lightly on the cheek and tried not to mind when she flinched.

  Out on the street, I scuffed my shoes against the asphalt for lack of a better target. I’d been on a roller coaster during the night and my insides still hadn’t caught up. It’d started well with the dinner—I’d realized my attraction for her was about the forbidden, made a vow not to act on it, and had been on my best behavior. Then came the pain of reliving my breakup with Donna. Not that I still had feelings for Donna—Lord, no—but, geez, those words still packed a punch.

  Why had I even told Annalise that? I couldn’t just blame the wine. It was so damn easy talking to her.

  Then in the kitchen, despite my promise, I’d given in and kissed her. I hadn’t been able to believe my luck when she’d kissed me back. And then some. If she hadn’t stopped us, we probably would have had sex there on the countertop.

  But she had stopped us. Which was what had led me here, walking down the road at night, alone and frustrated as hell. Maybe she’d been right that she’d regret it tomorrow, but one thing was for sure: I wouldn’t have.

  …

  I arrived early the next morning to pick up my Jeep, suspecting Annalise would try to avoid me. I knocked on her door and waited.

  When she didn’t answer after the third knock, I resigned myself to being beaten in the early bird stakes.

  After the wine and frustration had worn off at two in the morning, I’d realized I’d pushed her into something she didn’t want. Sure, she’d been turned on when we’d kissed, but she wasn’t some pathetic creature ruled only by her lusts.

  Like I was.

  Damn it. After all my efforts, I was turning into my father anyway—a jerk who let alcohol make his decisions and who used the people around him.

  I’d been the one to follow Annalise onto the balcony, and I’d been the one to make the first move in the kitchen. She’d responded—had wanted me, I was sure of that—but she’d had a fair bit to drink, so her judgment had been impaired. And I’d known her teenage crush still affected her. Known she’d probably respond if I kissed her. Known that made her vulnerable. And still I’d done it.

  As I turned the key in the ignition, a rush of shame overcame me for taking advantage of that.

  I drove down to my office, desperately trying to think of a way to make it up to her. A tall order, given she was probably hurt and embarrassed, and possibly angry with me. Would she even give me the chance? I cursed, feeling the guilt eat into my stomach.

  One thing was for sure—it was only fair that I put all my cards on the table, then end things. Apologize for blundering last night, tell her that I was attracted to her but also explain what everyone else already knew—what a bad catch I was. That nothing could happen between us, and it would be best if I walked away now.

  But first, I had to get her to talk to me. Preferably somewhere public where I couldn’t get carried away again.

  I pulled into my reserved parking spot and caught sight of myself in the rear vision mirror.

  It’d be easy.

  Right.

  …

  Annalise

  Walking along the beach with Rover on her kitty-leash, trying to clear my mind—and still-tingling lips—I was a little startled when my phone rang. Kelly’s bubbly voice flowed down the line, inviting me for morning tea.

  I quickly accepted—girl-time was probably just what I needed. My attempt at girl-boy-time hadn’t ended so well.

  Although, as much as I loved Kelly, she was Jake’s sister, and, this time, I wouldn’t confide my feelings the way I had as a teenager.

  I stopped on the way to pick up chocolate brownies—it was most definitely a chocolate day—and then at home to change clothes and drop off Rover.

  Jake’s car had gone, and I was glad I’d missed him since I didn’t think I could cope with seeing him right now. More than anything, I wanted him to put his arms around me and tell me everything would be all right. But I had to be strong now to avoid more hurt in the future. What sort of mess would we be in if I hadn’t stopped him in the kitchen?

  I was still amazed at my strength in doing that. Who’d have guessed I’d have the strength to turn Jake Maxwell away when he finally wanted me? I’d dreamed and prayed for that moment for six years. The irony was, when it’d happened for real I couldn’t accept it in the spirit it was offered because I wanted more.

  When other men had kissed me, I’d wanted them to be Jake. When it was Jake kissing me, I’d still wanted more. Maybe it was the-grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side-of-the-fence kind of thing. Maybe I’d never be satisfied.

  Whatever it was, I knew my feelings were too strong to be around him any longer—the tension was going to give me a nervous breakdown.

  As I stopped for a red light, I realized something, and all the breath left my body. This was no crush—I loved him. When had that happened?

  Being obsessed from afar as a teenager had been one thing, but it was a different proposition being close to him and loving him to the tips of my toes. That one, passionate kiss had broken through the barriers of self-protection I’d painstakingly erected, and this new vulnerability could only lead to major heart
break.

  Why did he believe that crap Donna had told him? I chewed my bottom lip as the light turned green and the line of traffic began moving again.

  Of course, there was always the possibility Donna was right, but I couldn’t bring myself to believe it. People were wired for love and commitment. People and ducks. I’d heard once that ducks chose one mate for life. I wondered if somewhere on the planet there was a slightly tall, brown-feathered duck with a white belly, pining over a charming, overachieving drake.

  I sighed and changed lanes. Thing was, it didn’t really matter whether it was true or not—as long as Jake accepted it as truth, there was no future for us. And I knew that for sure: Jake believed it.

  Maybe I could set the killer tomatoes on Donna when they’d finished with Scarlett?

  But the worst part? I was losing a friend. A really good friend. A ball of emotion lodged firmly in my throat. Turned out, I never could separate fantasy Jake boyfriend from my friend Jake in my mind. If I’d never had this crush, if I didn’t love him, we probably could have stayed friends forever.

  Too late for that.

  The problem now was how I could avoid him. The two weeks we’d agreed for his makeover weren’t up, but there was no way Jake would keep me to that after the kiss. Barbara had offered me more shifts in her shop, which together with the money from selling the designs should tide me over for the moment.

  Jake and I hadn’t seen much of each other before he’d asked me for this stupid favor, so we could go back to that. Or to be really sure, I could move cities. Or countries. To take Jake’s own advice, there was no point doing anything half-heartedly. Maybe I’d move planets.

  By the time I reached Kelly’s house, I had a firm plan to cut ties with Jake. It’d hurt, but better to treat it like leg waxing—do it quickly.

  “Annalise!” Kelly hugged me at the door. “I’m so glad you were free, I don’t think I could have waited to tell you my news.”

  I hugged her back then handed over the brownies. “What news?”

  “There are two bits of news, actually.”

  “Some good news and some bad news?”

  “No, some good news and some good news. The first news is I’m three months pregnant today. We wanted to wait to tell people till I was twelve weeks, you know, to be sure.”

  “Oh, Kelly! That’s great news.” I hugged her again. “You’ll make such a great mother. Is Adam happy?”

  “He’s thrilled to bits. He wanted to start trying the day we got married, but I wanted to wait a year or so to feel more settled. So the timing is perfect for me.” We walked through to her kitchen. “Let me put the kettle on. I’ll make a pot of tea to go with these brownies.”

  We chatted while Kelly made herbal tea and then moved out onto her deck.

  I looked at my beaming friend as we sat down. “This really is the best news. Just what I needed.” I hadn’t thought about Jake for a full ten minutes. That had to be a record. But there he was in my thoughts again. Although, I reasoned, he should be in these thoughts—Kelly’s news meant he’d be an uncle. He actually had more of a right to excitement at this news than I did.

  I could see the baby snuggled into his strong arms, how his eyes would twinkle when his niece or nephew gripped his finger—

  “Annalise, is anything wrong?”

  “No, why?” He’d use those hands that had slid through my hair to tickle smiles from the baby.

  “Your expression is a bit strange, for one thing. And you just said you needed some good news. Is there anything I can do?”

  I gave myself a mental shake. This was Kelly’s moment. I shouldn’t ruin it with self-pity or my runaway imagination. “No, I’m fine. Really,” I added when Kelly didn’t seem convinced. “It should be the other way around. Is there anything I can do for you?”

  Kelly smiled and raised her eyebrows. “I was hoping you’d ask that.”

  “You name it, and I’ll do it. I’m at your disposal. Babysitting, prenatal classes, diaper changing…. Wait, I’m not so sure about the diaper changing.”

  Kelly laughed. “Actually, it’s more important than those, although you’re welcome to help with any of them if you want.”

  “Well, what is it?”

  “Okay. I know we haven’t seen much of each other lately, and that was my fault. I was newly married—”

  “No, it was my fault,” I interrupted. “It was a little weird talking to you when you were still in your honeymoon phase and I was going through the break-up with Thomas. But I shouldn’t have let it continue.”

  “It won’t happen again,” Kelly paused and bit her lip, “because the other piece of good news is that Adam and I would like you and Jake to be our baby’s godparents.” Her smile was brimming with happiness.

  “You’d like Jake and me to be godparents to your baby?” I’d heard the words but was having trouble mentally processing the meaning. “Kel, we explained at your mother’s house that we’re not together.”

  “I know.”

  “And we’re not going to be together.” I thought I should spell it out to avoid any misunderstandings.

  “That’s okay.” Kelly’s wide smile—a feminine version of Jake’s—didn’t falter.

  “Then why choose us? You should choose a couple.”

  “Not everyone chooses a couple. Adam and I discussed it, and you two are our favorite people in the world. The people we trust and respect the most. If anything happens to us, you’re the ones we’d want to have legal custody. The ones making the decisions.”

  “But we couldn’t raise the baby together.”

  “You’d have to discuss it and make the decisions about that at the time. Anyway,” she shook her head, “that’s not going to happen. For now, we’ll worry about you and Jake being involved in first birthdays and babysitting.”

  The room started a slow spin around me. Hadn’t I just decided to cut ties with Jake?

  “Annalise? You don’t look happy. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. We can ask someone else.” Her voice wavered a little, and I felt meaner than when I’d demanded my Elvis movie collection back when we were teenagers.

  “Oh, Kelly, I’m honored. Of course I want to be godmother to your baby.” I smiled reassuringly. “Do you think I’ll get Mother’s Day presents?”

  Kelly laughed and relaxed back to her normal cheery self. “I’ll make sure of it.”

  “Have you asked Jake yet?” I picked up my tea to avoid eye contact. Kelly could read me like a book when she was paying attention.

  “No, Adam’s going to do it today.” Kelly picked up her own tea and surveyed me as I sipped. “Lisey, what is going on with you two? I asked Jake, and he brushed me off. Didn’t he say at Mum’s that you were helping him with something? We got so carried away with catching up that I forgot to ask more.”

  I searched for an answer. I knew Jake wasn’t ashamed about me helping him, but if he hadn’t told Kelly himself he must have a reason. For his sake, I decided to follow his lead. I had to say something, though, or Kelly would think we were sleeping together, if she didn’t already.

  The solution appeared, and I relaxed my strangled grip on my cup. The designs. They’d be public knowledge soon, and we’d already told Eden about them.

  I placed the cup back in its saucer, pleased I could tell her half the story. “Jake’s taking on two of my designs in his shop. They’re both casual wear, things for the beach.”

  “That’s wonderful news! Now we both have reasons to celebrate.” Despite her glowing happiness since I’d arrived, her face lit up even more.

  “It seems we do.” Celebrate. So, why had my heart felt like it was in my shoes all day?

  “You know, Lisey,” she said as she laid a hand on my wrist, “I feel a bit disloyal saying this, but I’m glad you’re not seeing Jake. I love him to death, but his relationships are always short.” A little crease appeared on her forehead. “I don’t know why, but he’s always been so restless. Besides Adam, he’s th
e best man I know, but I’d hate to see you hurt if it didn’t work out.”

  I gave a reassuring smile. “You’ve got nothing to worry about on that score.”

  “Okay.” Kelly leaned to pick up her cup and her shoulders relaxed. “Hang on, if he’s taking on your designs, why did he say you were helping him with something?”

  Ah. Good question. Perhaps my brilliance wasn’t in top form. “Um… I think he was just being generous. He told me once that he was getting a good deal because he thought my career was going somewhere and he was getting in at the ground floor.”

  “That makes sense. I always told you your designs are great. What made Jake realize it?”

  A vision rose of me modeling one of my designs, him standing very close, fingering the fabric at my neck. Instinctively, my hand lifted and wrapped around my neck. “Oh, just a chance meeting. When’s the baby’s due date?”

  Kelly forgot Jake and talked about her plans for the nursery and all things baby. I listened and made all the right noises but wasn’t able to forget Jake with quite the same ease as Kelly had.

  Chapter Eleven

  Annalise

  After staying for lunch with Kelly, I arrived home to find a familiar Jeep out in front, with Jake in the driver’s seat.

  It’s all right. I straightened my spine. I’ll be strong, I’ll be focused… I won’t look at him. If I could just avoid visual contact, I figured I had a pretty good chance of survival.

  I walked slowly from my garage, expecting him to follow, but he didn’t. Sucking my bottom lip between my teeth, I hesitated. It’d be rude not to go over and talk to him, but then again, why wasn’t he coming to me? Then I saw the note. I pulled it off the door and held it with annoyingly unsteady fingers.

  Annalise,

  I’m sorry about last night, and I need to apologize in person. I’m waiting in my car for your signal—and then I’ll either grovel at your feet or drive off into the sunset.

  Jake

  A cute apology, but cutting ties with Jake was getting more and more complex all the time.